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The Teen Popularity Handbook cover If you like our website content, you’ll love this book!

It is the only book of its kind. It is the handbook of how to be a popular teen, teaching you how to develop the skills to be successful in high school and beyond. Every teen, parent, grandparent, etc, needs this book.

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From the back of the book:

Any teen can become popular!

When you’re popular, life is exciting. Popular people are surrounded by close friends, fans, and secret admirers. They have the skills to form meaningful romantic relationships and rarely get bullied, because they have the confidence to stand up for themselves and others.

Wouldn’t it feel great to give a class presentation without anxiety? To have the confidence and right words to ask that special someone to the dance? Or to be able to read your crush’s body language to know what he or she really thinks about you?

How would your life change if you replaced your feelings of loneliness, awkwardness, and frustration with happiness and self-confidence?

But…Can you be popular? Yes! Popular teens think and act in ways that make them loved and admired. This book reveals these scientifically-backed “popularity secrets” and makes learning and applying them in your life fun and easy.

Don’t worry, The Teen Popularity Handbook isn’t going to turn you into a bully or “mean girl,” but a confident, fun, and well-liked teen everyone wants to get to know. Also, since studies show that popular high-schoolers earn more money later in life than unpopular teens, the benefits of being popular never end. So, what are you waiting for? It’s time to start your exciting transformation into a popular teen right now!

280 pages. 

Order today in paperback and Kindle!

The Worst Advice Your Parents And Teachers Can Give You Is…

thumbs upWhat I am about to say goes against virtually everything many of your parents, teachers, and friends tell you daily. They will probably tell you to avoid this article…but oh well…here goes…

So what is this common advice that I really can’t stand?

“Just be yourself.”

Your parents and friends mean well, as you probably do when you tell your friends the same thing. However, let’s think about this advice for a minute. Let me use this dialogue as an example.

You: “Mom, I can’t make any friends in this new school.”
Mom: “Just be yourself, honey; you will make friends!”

Sure, you don’t want your mom to start lecturing you about how horribly awkward you are, but let’s think through this advice of “be yourself” for a few minutes.

YOU can’t make friends.

YOU need social help.

YOU are frustrated, sad, and lonely.

Instead of being “yourself,” it sounds to me like you need to move beyond “yourself,” at least at that particular moment.

Your mom may have your best interest in mind. She is trying to affirm that you are all right as you are. And, that is a good thing. However, the better option would be for your mom to empathize with you (try to understand where you are coming from and acknowledge your feelings), but also provide you with some tools to help you actually make friends.

Personally, I don’t want to “be myself,” if I am fundamentally unhappy with who I am. There was a time when I was 50 pounds heavier, shy, awkward, depressed, and lonely. I am glad that I stopped “being myself” from that period.

“Just be yourself” encourages you to stay right where you are. If where you are is miserable, depressed, lonely, unhealthy, unfulfilled, etc, then guess what? You probably want to be somewhere else. Since you can’t be someone else, what can you do?

Stop being yourself at that moment, and become your best self.

Doing this right is a two-step process:

1. Stop Hating Yourself

If you aren’t where you are, and you want to improve, that is great. But, it doesn’t mean you need to shame or hate yourself. Acknowledge that you are valuable just because you are you. It sounds sappy, but if you hate yourself, you’ll never become your best self. It is like an artist hating the very paint and canvas he is using on his masterpiece. So, acknowledge that you are cool and worthy of respect from the start. Stop judging and shaming yourself and start you journey to a better place!

2. Focus on Making Slow and Positive Changes

After recognizing you have value and worth, now you can focus on becoming your best self.

The best methods of self-improvement are slow, positive (lead you to happy, safe, and healthy), and based on sound science.  If you are looking for something that fits the bill, you should *cough cough* check out our Teen Popularity Handbook.

For example, you can work on your shyness, practice meeting new people, overcome your fear of talking in groups, lose a pound a week, start running a few miles each week, etc.

Whatever you choose, becoming your best self is fun, exciting, and also challenging, but it is a good challenging, because you will work hard, but see great results from working hard.

You Should Be More Grateful

Table set for Thanksgiving dinnerI’m sure most teens have heard this hundreds of times, if not more, from their adult relatives and mentors. There’s nothing like an adult telling you to do something to make you want to get right on it, huh? However, you should be more grateful. Not because I, an adult, am telling you. You should want to increase your gratitude because it has many great benefits.

Happiness

People who practice gratitude have been shown to be happier on average than those who focused on the negative. It makes sense if you think about it. Taking a “poor me” attitude all the time leads us to focus on negativity and unhappiness. Finding gratitude in our daily lives makes us happy for what we have.

Friends

Grateful people are more happy. And, what do positive, happy people have more of typically? That’s right. Friends. In fact, studies have confirmed that people who are more positive and grateful are more likely to be social and get into friendships and even other, more romantic relationships.

Health

In one study, those who were more grateful exercised more and had fewer doctor’s visits. Gratitude makes us feel much more energized and ready to take on life. That’s good for not only our mental health but our physical health, as well.

It Feels Good

Being grateful actually feels good. When we focus on our happy feelings, we get more happy feelings in return. So, if you’re in a rut or generally unhappy, taking inventory of your life and thinking of the positive is a great way to snap out of it. We all have things to be happy about. Sometimes we just have to dig a little deeper.

So, as American Thanksgiving rolls around, take some time to be a little more grateful. Not because you should, but because it has great benefits.

The Teenage Obesity Epidemic

fat boy with cell phone

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

In 1980, five percent of 12-19 year olds were obese. In 2012? The number jumped to nearly twenty one percent! (source) That means that in a school of five hundred teens, in 1980 25 of them would be obese (defined as having extreme excess body fat). Today, that number would be close to one hundred. While teens might fret over their appearance and other social issues that come from obesity, there are serious health problems too.

Teens can develop bone and joint issues, pre-diabetes, and even high blood pressure. These conditions used to be associated with old people. In addition, obese teens are likely to be obese adults which means an earlier and greater risk of practically every disease and negative health condition.

The teenage obesity epidemic is a real problem and it seems to be getting worse. Why is it such a big problem? Here are my theories.

Technology

Where do most teens spend their free time? With technology. Sure they might be hanging with friends or technically doing something else. But, in most cases they are with their phones, tablet, or video game systems. I love technology, but if a teen is glued to their phone, what are they not doing? Being active. Which leads us to point two…

Lack of activity

While some teens play sports or participate in physical activity, there is a large percentage of teens who do nothing. I’ll bet it’s close to twenty one percent. These teens don’t even get out and walk much. They spend their time watching TV, in front of screen of some kind, or hanging with friends (but not doing anything active). This inactivity leads to obesity because it’s usually combined with unhealthy eating.

Obese Parents

It’s hard to expect teens to be healthy when their parents aren’t. And, the percentage of obese adults is rising too. If a parent doesn’t work out or eat right, it’s hard to expect a teen to take the initiative and do otherwise. Although some do, most will not. So, obese parents create obese teens.

So, the teenage obesity epidemic is a real problem. Next week, I’m going to list ways parents can help their children lose weight and get healthy.

Just A Teen

follow your dreams

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

As a teenager it might seem like the world is against you and that it’s hard to accomplish any of your goals. You might have big dreams but there are likely many impediments. Perhaps teachers or parents have told you to be less enthusiastic because “you’re just a teen.” Maybe you don’t even try because you think you’re “just a teen.”

However, being a teen doesn’t mean you can’t accomplish a lot. And, I don’t even mean laying the groundwork for success as an adult. Even right now, as a teenager, you can live and achieve many of your dreams, whether it involves making money, becoming more popular, losing weight, becoming famous, etc.

Look at people like Lorde, Justin Bieber, and countless other young musicians, actors, and teen entrepreneurs. They found success in the present, not letting their status as “just a teen” deter them from finding their success. While being a teenager might mean you’ll encounter more difficulties, obstacles happen at any age and situation. If you have a goal or a desire to accomplish something, then the time to start working on it is right now.

I’ve known lots of teens who had big goals fall by the wayside because they didn’t put in the effort or have the necessary passion for what they wanted. They let the fact that they were “just a teen” stop them from believing in themselves and getting the motivation for success.

So, don’t be “just a teen” since most teens don’t reach their goals and live their dreams. You be the teen who is different and succeeds…beyond your wildest dreams.

Good Attention Vs. Bad Attention

angry boy

Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

People love attention. So, it follows that getting attention is a good thing. While a lot of attention is good, if it’s for the wrong reasons it can be a bad thing. Obviously being in the news for a hit song is good attention while being in the news for doing something embarrassing or criminal is bad attention (at least for most people).

When it comes to being popular at school, you’ll want to keep in mind the difference between good and bad attention. And, I’m going to assume that everyone will avoid things that get them sent to the principal’s office or the juvenile detention center. I want to discuss the difference between attention that makes a person popular and attention that makes them unpopular.

Good Attention

Anything that gets you noticed in a positive, popular way is positive. So, this means being successful in sports and other activities, taking on leadership roles (even informally), being well-known in real life or social media, getting a reputation for being funny (or just being funny), etc.

I think most teens know what kind of attention gets them more popular. While being yourself is good in this regard (e.g. if you’re not athletic get attention through other means), make sure you’re getting attention in things people value and admire. Otherwise, you might get bad attention.

Bad Attention

This is when you get noticed, but it might not be for likeable things. It can include dressing in a freaky way, being creepy, making inappropriate comments, doing outrageous things (that lack any sort of purpose like humor), etc. Sticking out can be good. But, if you stick out in a bad way, it’s not going to make you popular.

While we’d never ask anyone to not be themselves, don’t act in a way that makes you appear creepy or weird. You can be yourself and still do so in a way that doesn’t make people feel uncomfortable.

So, make sure to be aware of good attention vs. bad attention when trying to be popular and be liked. You definitely want to be a leader and set trends. But, you don’t want to be so far outside of them that you makes others feel creeped out or uncomfortable.

Guys: Think Before You Try This “Nice” Tactic To Get Dates

guy holding bear

Image courtesy of artur84 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Every guy has tried this strategy to get a date. He notices girls like sweet-talking guys and getting compliments. So, in an effort to comply with what girls (say they) want, he becomes the most gentlemanly man possible, becoming the nicest nice guy our nice world has ever seen. And, in the process he becomes the least attractive guy possible.

I certainly don’t want to be accused of asking teen guys to be jerks. However, I want this essay to be a helpful article to teen boys that also tells the truth. And, the truth is, females of all ages aren’t attracted to guys whose only quality is niceness.

I know it sounds bad to say, but it’s true. Does being nice get you good grades? Make you a starting football player? Get you a raise at work? Make your teen rock band superstars? Nope. Niceness is good, but it doesn’t really get you anything beyond friendliness (hopefully) in return. That’s good, but it doesn’t help you reach your goals.

The same is true of dating. While girls prefer nice guys, niceness, by itself isn’t considered attractive. It’s just neutral. How many guys would look at a girl they thought was ugly, but because she’s nice want to date her? Not many. It’s the same with girls. They like guys who are confident, funny, smart, edgy, talented, good looking, and many other things. But niceness, while being expected, isn’t one of them.

So, if you think that because you’re nice and you deserve a date…think again. You don’t. No one deserves a date. But, if you have other things going for you, then you’ll likely get a date. But, still be nice of course. But also work on being confident, becoming a leader, learning an instrument, playing a sport, etc. Find ways to be excellent, confident, and better looking. Then, you’ll be more likely to get a date.

But, don’t just be a nice guy. That isn’t enough.