Order The Teen Popularity Handbook Today

The Teen Popularity Handbook cover If you like our website content, you’ll love this book!

It is the only book of its kind. It is the handbook of how to be a popular teen, teaching you how to develop the skills to be successful in high school and beyond. Every teen, parent, grandparent, etc, needs this book.

Order The Teen Popularity Handbook Today

From the back of the book:

Any teen can become popular!

When you’re popular, life is exciting. Popular people are surrounded by close friends, fans, and secret admirers. They have the skills to form meaningful romantic relationships and rarely get bullied, because they have the confidence to stand up for themselves and others.

Wouldn’t it feel great to give a class presentation without anxiety? To have the confidence and right words to ask that special someone to the dance? Or to be able to read your crush’s body language to know what he or she really thinks about you?

How would your life change if you replaced your feelings of loneliness, awkwardness, and frustration with happiness and self-confidence?

But…Can you be popular? Yes! Popular teens think and act in ways that make them loved and admired. This book reveals these scientifically-backed “popularity secrets” and makes learning and applying them in your life fun and easy.

Don’t worry, The Teen Popularity Handbook isn’t going to turn you into a bully or “mean girl,” but a confident, fun, and well-liked teen everyone wants to get to know. Also, since studies show that popular high-schoolers earn more money later in life than unpopular teens, the benefits of being popular never end. So, what are you waiting for? It’s time to start your exciting transformation into a popular teen right now!

280 pages. 

Order today in paperback and Kindle!

Happy Halloween 2015

scary halloween image

Image courtesy of feelart at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

We’ve written a lot about this holiday before. Why? Because Halloween is a fun time when you can meet other people, get close to your crush at a haunted house, and just have a good time.

It doesn’t matter your age. You’re never too old for Halloween, even your town doesn’t exactly love the idea of teen trick or treaters.

Don’t let this Halloween go to waste. Dress up, go to a party, have fun trick or treating. Do something fun. But, make it legal. I don’t want to get toilet paper out of my trees.

If you don’t have any plans, try to create some, even if it’s just inviting your friends over to dress up, play video games, and have fun.

Here at The Popular Teen, we wish you a fun, safe, and happy Halloween!

Why Worrying Is A Waste Of Time

angry girl

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We all have worries. My grandma is the biggest worrier known to man. Growing up she worried about everything. I remember her worrying about whether I was eating too much – and too little – in the same day.

You probably have worries going through your head right now: will you get into college, when will you find that “special someone,” how will you pass physics, or will your parents be able to pay their bills. Some of these worries may be destroying you inside.

While not dismissing your feelings, let me give you some perspective on worrying that may change your attitude about it.

In one study, researchers asked people to write down their worries for two weeks. At the end of the period, 85% of the time, things actually turned out positive, instead of negative. And, 79% of the time, when something people worried about came true, they dealt with it in a positive way.

So, let me summarize the truth about worrying for you.

– Most of the time what we worry about doesn’t even happen.

– When things we worry about do happen, most of the time they aren’t even a big deal.

Now, go out and have a great day!

Local Love For Our Book

I was recently interviewed about The Teen Popularity Handbook in the local newspaper, The Lancaster Eagle Gazette.

The reporter gave me a chance to really explain what our vision of popularity and success it all about. I am thankful we have a great local paper.

Check it out!

Science Says: Bullies Are Weak, Unpopular, and Need Social Skills

upset teen boy

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The common attitude is that bullying is a problem where high status kids make life miserable for lower status kids, like the star athlete picking on the awkward math nerd. Even movies portray this stereotype that those at the top of the social ladder are bullying jerks, while those at the bottom are innocent victims.

When Jonathan and I started discussing our concept of popularity and success a few years ago, we concluded the opposite: bullying was actually an issue of insecure people picking on even more insecure people.

As such, we have been pioneering a concept that the route to ending bullying is actually turning “victims” into people with useful social skills rather than emphasizing their victimhood. And, we have taken this even further by suggesting that bullies also need these social skills.

It turns out that research agrees. From the article Why It Pays To Be A Jerk, this excerpt appears:

Anyone who’s been through middle school might agree that “reputational aggression”—a k a vicious gossip, or even verbal abuse—seems to play a role in the status struggles of teenagers. Using data from North Carolina high schools, Faris uncovered a pattern showing that, contrary to the stereotype of high-status kids victimizing low-status ones, most aggression is local: kids tend to target kids close to them on the social ladder. And the higher one rises on that ladder, the more frequent the acts of aggression—until, near the very top, aggression ceases almost completely. Why? Kids with nowhere left to climb, Faris posits, have no more use for it. Indeed, the star athlete who demeaned the mild mathlete might come off as insecure. “In some ways,” Faris muses, “these people have the luxury of being kind. Their social positions are not in jeopardy.”

See that? People who actually have status generally aren’t the ones using bullying tactics on those without status. The psychological needs of bullies and the bullied are actually very similar: both need the skills to go up in social status.

“A rising tide lifts all boats”: Could the solution to both empowering bullying victims, and fixing bullies, be to teach both victims AND bullies positive social skills? We say YES.

This is why our definition of leadership and success emphasizes being cool and open to being friends with everyone because this is what makes a leader an actual leader. A confident and a socially competent person isn’t going to use meanness and force tactics to “get popular,” because a confident and socially competent person knows quite simply that those tactics don’t work.

The teen guy or girl at the top knows that picking on others is “bad for business” because you don’t stay at the top by alienating your fans and supporters.

Self-Confidence Comes Through Accomplishments

girls giving thumbs up

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If you are a teen (or the parent of a teen) who lacks self-confidence, you may be told by people that you need to just “be confident” or have to go through programs that seek to boost the self esteem of students like you. However, you might feel like you aren’t having any success and wonder why. Here is the reason: self-confidence comes through having accomplishments.

What I mean is that simply saying “be confident” or “you need to raise your self-esteem” is a little like a family friend of mine talking to a foreign exchange student who didn’t know English. If she didn’t understand the sentence, my friend would simply repeat the sentence more loudly. In other words, telling someone to “be confident” over and over again doesn’t work if the person doesn’t even know what confidence is or what it feels like.

The way all people, teens or adults, get confidence is by having accomplishments they can be proud of. It doesn’t have to be anything major. In fact, a person with low self-confidence probably needs to start small. Complete any task, get a great grade on a test or project, achieve something fitness related, resolve to talk to someone new, etc. Find something that is difficult for you, accomplish it, and enjoy the feeling.

Then, work towards bigger and better accomplishments. Some good examples are taking up an instrument, making a sports team, getting all As, acceptance into your favorite college, joining a fun club, getting a date with your crush, and so on. With each new accomplishment, you will feel more confident and able to accomplish more.

Sometimes the first step is the hardest. However, it’s worth it. Start small and begin racking up accomplishments. Then, shoot for your dreams. You never know what you can accomplish until you actually try.

Now Is The Time To Prepare For Summer

beach cartoon

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Have big summer plans? Maybe it’s going to the beach or you swear you’re finally going to get a boyfriend or girlfriend. Perhaps you’re going to get in shape at last and join a sports team. Regardless, since you have summer off, it’s a great time to actually work on achieving your non-academic goals. Yes, you should have those. So, if you haven’t set goals for your summer break, that’s your first step.

However, if you have any big plans for the summer, there is no reason to delay them until summer. You can either start doing them right now or laying the foundation so that your summer can be awesome.

For example, maybe you want to go to the beach with your family and friends and meet new people but you’re worried about your body. Well, now is the time to start working out and losing weight.

Perhaps you have decided that over the summer you want to try out for the football team or get involved in a play. Now is the perfect time to start practicing your football skills or taking acting lessons.

Whatever your plans or goals for the summer, if you truly want to achieve them, then it’s best if you start working towards them right now. That way, once summer comes and you try to start living your plans, you’ll be way ahead of the game and ready to succeed.