I have several friends on my Facebook feed who are drama kings and queens. In many cases, they post the drama about relationships and the pain they endure from the people they allegedly love.
Some of the posts are really really depressing. They talk about how their lives are barely worth living without the other person. They vaguely mention suicide or self harm. They seem so desperate and pathetic. It’s really sad, especially if you care for the person.
However, what is really sad is that these people allow themselves to get so worked up over another person that they feel that their own lives have no value. In essence, they’ve found their identity through another person and without them they literally feel like they’re nothing.
Let me tell you this: a guy or girl isn’t worth that kind of misery. But, when we fall in love and get attached we feel like we truly aren’t worth anything without the other person.
The key to beating this attitude is to learn to love yourself first. Find ways to be proud of yourself through accomplishments and social success. That way you’re not in need of validation from others. Also, have lots of other options. If you’re popular and have lots of other dates on the horizon one person won’t seem so special.
But, regardless of the solution, it’s important for teens (and even adults) to remember that a guy or girl isn’t worth the misery that they often allow themselves to experience. That’s right, being miserable is a state of mind. Don’t let yourself get there over another human being (at least one who isn’t a close relative).