When I was in seventh grade, a kid name Mike came up to my locker and started running his mouth. He was known as a bully and was going to try his hand at bullying me. Now, in seventh grade I hadn’t quite mastered the confidence and swagger that I have today. But, for whatever reason, I slammed him into the locker and told him never to bully me again. He never did.
While I don’t advocate this approach because in today’s school’s it’ll likely get you in trouble, it worked with Mike. It’s because I showed him, in a way that may not have been ideal, that I was confident and wasn’t going to be bothered by his stupidity.
There are some bullies who are relentless and even violent. These bullies probably don’t care how confident or strong their victims are. But, these types of bullies are rare. Most average bullies pick, tease, and bother. And, they do it because they get something out of it, whether it’s a laugh, feeling of superiority, or something else.
So, if you are a confident teen, then you will be, in some ways, “vaccinated” against bullying. You will naturally respond in a way that shows the bullies that you are not worth bothering. This type of confidence obviously will not solve a general problem of bullying at a school. But, it will make the bullies seek other victims (not you).
The best way to show your confidence isn’t to slam anyone in a locker. Do you think you know the best way? Lecture? Cry? Tell a teacher?
The best way to show a bully you’re confident is to not care. Let’s put it this way. If I’m not afraid of dogs, how will I react? Generally, it means I’ll just be normal and cool around dogs, not showing fear. The same is true for bullies. If you can act normal and cool and not get riled up by bullying behavior, typically the person will leave you alone.
Sometimes, of course, it’s hard not to care, especially if a bully is particularly relentless. But, it can be done. Let’s use a real world example (not involving dogs).
A kid at school sends a Facebook message saying you’re ugly. Do you:
A) Cry and tell the bully she made you cry
B) Say “you’re ugly too and so are your mom, dad, and baby brother”
C) Give the person a lecture on bullying and bully prevention
D) Say, “yeah, whatever” and actually mean it (or just say nothing)
The best answer is D. Telling a bully you’re crying will prove to her that you’re easily bugged. Score! Lots more fun for the bully. Insulting the bully will just create a war of words. And, lecturing the bully? She and her friends will likely be on her phone laughing at your every word. Ignoring on the other hand? That will give them no power over you.
So, if you want to stop many types of bullying, then be confident. Fortunately, we specialize in creating confident, popular teens. Check out our website for many more tips.