I know a guy who is lights up the room (metaphorically speaking). He smiles, laughs, jokes around, and makes others feel great about themselves when he’s around them. People flock to him, and typically he is never alone at any social event.
Now, let’s compare this to a principal where I used to teach. She was relentlessly negative, and her very presence made people feel horrible. People ran away as quickly as possible! My friend increases energy wherever he goes; my former colleague, on the other hand, is an energy suck.
I’m sure you can think of examples from your school that remind you of both my friend and former co-worker. Obviously, if you want to be popular and successful in any environment, you’ll have to be someone who adds positive energy to a situation, rather than sucking everyone dry emotionally. How do you know if you’re an energy suck? Usually that means you:
- Gossip and spread rumors
- Start drama
- Are the first to point out faults
- Tear down others
- Focus on your problems only
- Complain a lot
- Are a backstabber
- Are a tattle-tale
In small amounts, these traits are tolerable, but in large amounts they are simply draining. While popular people in your school may engage in these behaviors occasionally, if they do it too long, they’ll lose their popularity quickly.
If you want to be liked (and loved), then you should increase the positive energy wherever you go. This doesn’t mean you’re Miss or Mr. Sunshine all the time. Those people are annoying too. But, you want to make sure that others like to hang around you because you increase their emotional energy. You get them excited and happy about life. People who do this:
- Are cool and relaxed
- Stay out of the drama
- Avoid bad mouthing others
- Are loyal
- Avoid whining, tattling, and complaining
- Meet the needs of others
Make it your goal today and in the future to get other people excited and happy to be around you. You’ll be surprised how people will want to be around you the more you contribute to the emotional well-being of others.