When I was ordering some coffee, I overheard two girls laughing at something they saw on Facebook. Being outgoing and nosy, I jokingly made a comment for them to keep it down, since I was trying to think about something.
Since opening up to a stranger is all the rage, they showed me a photo a “friend” of theirs had posted on Facebook. It was of a guy holding a hamburger, making some comment about being a stud, and the proof of it being a certain stain in his pants.
I shudder even typing it. This is even beyond “clown-level” creepy. For one, it is inappropriate on a variety of levels (he is in college and the girls were only 15), and second it is creepy as can be.
Most people have dealt with “creeps” over the years. Typically, the label creepy is applied to guys, but occasionally it applies to girls.
And what makes someone “creepy?” My hypothesis is that creepiness is really just subtle behavior and mannerisms that come across as weird and possibly dangerous. It is a subconscious signal that a person is “off” socially and thus best avoided. Often it is more a gut feeling rather than logical, probably because the older parts of our brains that we share with other animals are picking up the creepiness cues.
Another hypothesis I have is that creepy people violate expected social and evolutionary norms related to dominance hierarchies. So, “creepiness” is often lower status men trying to behave as a higher status guy would. For example, an attractive, muscular, and nice-smelling, guy approaching a girl is seen as suave and amazing, but an unattractive, nerdy, and foul-smelling guy doing the same is creepy.
It is no surprise that women often describe guys who they don’t want to associate with as “creepy,” because in terms of human evolutionary history, hanging with the wrong guy could have literally resulted in death to a woman (and still could today).
And, this is why women will never date a creep. A creep is the exact opposite of what women look for in a guy: a strong person who will provide for and protect them.
We provide you with a variety of tips and rules here. Our book, The Teen Popularity Handbook has a lot of them, based on sound science, psychology, nutrition, fashion studies (there is such a thing), and so forth. Nonetheless, one trait can pretty much ruin anything else positive you have going for you, and that is being a creeper.
Let me give you some examples of creepy behavior:
– talking to yourself
– being “into” death and murder
– walking hunched over
– staring at people
– violating people’s personal space
– having a fringe fashion sense (like wearing trench coats, pony tail, and neckbeard)
– causing people to gasp constantly
– making offensive comments without realizing they bother people
Normally, I say it is important to be confident to make friends. However, if you increase your confidence level, but are creepy, that extra confidence just means you are creepy on steroids. So, being creepy pretty much cancels out every other rule out there.
So, how do you know if you are creepy??? Check out the follow-up article, four ways to know if you are creepy. If you think you are creepy, then you definitely need to read that article.