Every so often on Facebook I see girls that complain, writing “I need a boyfriend.” Some girls don’t even have to say it, because you can see it in their words and actions. Whenever a guy so much as looks at them, they are stalking him and claiming him, and when they do happen to land a guy, their entire existence revolves around him. Truly, deep down in their brains, they are convinced they “need” a boyfriend. Does this describe you? The good news is that whether you “need” a boyfriend is up to you! So keep reading.
The truth is that needing a boyfriend is a bad way to approach love and romance. And, desperately needing a boyfriend – or anything really – is a good way to never get one, at least one that you deserve.
First, guys don’t like needy girls. In the beginning, guys love it when a girl clings to him like super glue. But after a while, most guys will get sick of it. In fact, the best guys will always get sick of your clinginess. Here is why. If a guy is good, he will have things going in his life, like family, friends, activities, etc. If he is willing to give up all of that for you, then guess what, he isn’t a catch, is he? So if you project to the world that you are needy, the best guys won’t give you the time of day. However…the worst ones will gladly oblige…read below.
Second, needing a boyfriend leads to disastrous relationships. Many girls that “need” a boyfriend typically get one, but at any cost. This means they will date any guy that is available, and generally it is only losers that are 100% available, because they aren’t busy with sports, academics, or taken by other girls. This is why you often see otherwise functional girls (who have good grades, etc) with total losers. Ladies, sometimes you escape with very little lost, but other times you may come out poorer, and perhaps with an STD or even a baby! Losers won’t stop being losers just because you date them. A Facebook friend of mine, who always whines about needing a guy, recently got engaged to the biggest loser on the planet. He is a con-artist, perpetually unemployed, and isn’t even good looking. Yet, she “needs” a guy so much that even this total jackass fits the bill.
The solution to “I need a boyfriend” is to do the necessary emotional work necessary to stop “needing” a guy. This may require professional help, especially if you have a history of abuse, or grew up without a father. However, if you don’t have more serious issues, it could be as simple as giving the other things in your life more priority, and getting “I need a boyfriend” out of your head for a while. Spend more time with your friends and get more involved in school activities. Get a new hobby that doesn’t involve boys. If you have trouble attracting a boyfriend for physical reasons (such as being overweight), then consult a nutritionist or join a gym, and focus on that. You’ll probably find that as you become more confident in yourself through positive activities, getting a great boyfriend will be much easier.
So, the lesson is that the less you need a boyfriend, the more likely you are to get the boyfriend you deserve.