“How can you make such a dumb choice?”
“Sheesh, you’re a pain in the butt.”
I’m sure most teens have heard these or similar statements in the past. Even if you have a good relationship with your parents, at times the conversation can fall into negativity. And, sadly, most teachers use negative tactics, as well.
Few parents and teachers want to resort to negative tactics deep down. In most cases, it comes out of frustration and a lack of alternatives. Look at at this way. If someone gets on your nerves badly, do you always deal with it in the best way? Probably not.
However, studies from psychology show that negativity doesn’t motivate others. While consequences can start the process of change, true change can only occur when the individual in question wants to change.
Motivation typically occurs from positive methods. In other words, the people in question need to decide that making a change is worth their time and effort. So, if you’re a teen and you find that you’re not terribly interested in changing during a lecture from a teacher and a parent…you’re normal.
In addition, negativity can even increase resistance to ideas. So, when your parents lecture you about good grades, it might even make you less likely to want to get good grades.
This post is also meant for parents. If you’re a parent realize that trying to inspire your kids to better results and showing them the value of what you want from them will likely be much more successful in the long run.