If you are a teen (or the parent of a teen) who lacks self-confidence, you may be told by people that you need to just “be confident” or have to go through programs that seek to boost the self esteem of students like you. However, you might feel like you aren’t having any success and wonder why. Here is the reason: self-confidence comes through having accomplishments.
What I mean is that simply saying “be confident” or “you need to raise your self-esteem” is a little like a family friend of mine talking to a foreign exchange student who didn’t know English. If she didn’t understand the sentence, my friend would simply repeat the sentence more loudly. In other words, telling someone to “be confident” over and over again doesn’t work if the person doesn’t even know what confidence is or what it feels like.
The way all people, teens or adults, get confidence is by having accomplishments they can be proud of. It doesn’t have to be anything major. In fact, a person with low self-confidence probably needs to start small. Complete any task, get a great grade on a test or project, achieve something fitness related, resolve to talk to someone new, etc. Find something that is difficult for you, accomplish it, and enjoy the feeling.
Then, work towards bigger and better accomplishments. Some good examples are taking up an instrument, making a sports team, getting all As, acceptance into your favorite college, joining a fun club, getting a date with your crush, and so on. With each new accomplishment, you will feel more confident and able to accomplish more.
Sometimes the first step is the hardest. However, it’s worth it. Start small and begin racking up accomplishments. Then, shoot for your dreams. You never know what you can accomplish until you actually try.