When I was in high school, I really liked a girl. I was really nice to her, even to the point of buying her things and letting her use my locker on the first floor (she had one all the way on the third floor). After about a month of being really kind and generous to her, I asked her out. She said “no.”
I was outraged. I was so nice to her! What was she thinking?? She owed me a date!
Well, she actually didn’t owe me a date, or anything else for that matter. We didn’t have some sort of agreement. And, giving a girl stuff doesn’t mean that she had any obligation to date me anyway. So, for all the guys reading this: girls don’t owe you a date. I know it might be common sense, but let me explain a little more just in case.
Some guys take the dating strategy that being friends with a girl will lead to more down the line. Typically these guys are in what is called “the friend zone.” They want to date a girl but are only friends. They think that this strategy of befriending girls or being extra nice to them will lead to dating them later on. And there are times when this can work. But, by and large it doesn’t. And, when it doesn’t work, a guy needs to realize a couple of things.
First, if you are a girl’s friend, then she likely sees you for what you say you are: a friend and nothing more. Second, just because you’re her friend doesn’t mean she’s obligated to date you at some point. If you’re straight you wouldn’t date you guy friends under the same circumstances because to date someone requires attraction. Your female friends most likely feel that way about you too: they aren’t attracted to you, or they wouldn’t be just your friend. It is possible a girl could harbor a secret crush, but unless you are seeing a lot of signs of that, I wouldn’t hold my breath.
So, if you’re friends with a girl or you’re nice to her or whatever the circumstance, do your best with her and be cool. But, if you do anything for a female, do it because you want to, not because you’re trying to bribe her or earn a date. Girls don’t owe you a date, just like you are under no obligation to date the girls you know.