OK, you’re a teenager and you’re dating (or really trying to). You hear great things about dating from friends and popular culture (like movies, music, etc.) and assume it’s going to be awesome (even if there is some pain along the way). But dating isn’t always great, even in the end. In fact, it can really suck.
Dating can be rough for adults too. Don’t get me wrong. But, there are unique factors in the teenage years that make dating even more difficult. Here are a few reasons why dating can suck for teens.
Hormones and the Brain
Teenagers aren’t fully in control of their own minds. While we’re all products of brain chemistry, the incredible changes that teens undergo and the shifting of hormones can turn teens into a bundle of emotions that they might not even fully understand.
So, they might feel happy one day and totally depressed the next. And, when dealing with issues such as romance, it can be tough. One day the person you’re dating (or trying to date) seems to really like you. The next day? Not so much. That can wreak havoc with your emotions (which are already jacked up due to brain chemistry).
While an adult may tell you that teens have it easy, you likely don’t feel like your life is total bliss. In reality, while teens don’t have pressures like bills and high stakes jobs, the teen life still has a lot of pressure.
Teens are expected to behave, succeed at school, and live under the rules of countless adults. In fact, very few adults would thrive in such restrictive environments (and don’t).
So, the pressures to get good grades, perform at sports, and stay in line (as well as possible jobs and home responsibilities) can make finding time and energy for relationships tough. Combine it with the first point and many teens simply can’t take the emotional roller coaster of dating.
When I was thirteen I absolutely loved a girl named Holly. Of course, there were a couple of problems. She lived miles away and I had no car or license. Oh, and her parents were Jehovah’s Witnesses who absolutely refused to let her be around guys except maybe a select few highly supervised fellow believers.
It was really too bad for our dating. We did a secret passing notes type thing for awhile, but the romance was more or less gone before it started.
Teens sometimes have very little freedom to pursue dating. That can be frustrating for both parties, even if one is allowed to date. It’s especially bad, like with me and Holly, where you really like someone but aren’t able to even be around them. And there’s nothing either person can do about it.
Fortunately, a lot of these issues get ironed out later in life. But, if you’re a teen (or deal with teens), remember that dating really can be more difficult at that age. While there are solutions (this website addresses some of them), it’s important to first recognize the problem.