If you’re a parent visiting this page, you might look at your kids and wonder why they aren’t all that popular. Maybe you were popular in high school or perhaps you just feel your child isn’t developing socially in the way you think he or she should be.
While you should never pressure your kids to be too much like you or force them into a personality type that doesn’t fit them, there might be reasons why your child lacks social success. Here are a few reasons why your child might not be popular.
In most cases, shy children have a hard time being popular. Usually popularity and social success require the ability to talk to and interact with others. However, shy kids usually lack the internal motivation to start conversations, build rapport, and continue friendships.
While a talented teen with outgoing friends can often become popular for those reasons, shyer “average” kids often have a hard time doing the heavy lifting of becoming popular (meeting strangers, asking people on dates, etc.).
Not Living In The Real World
Lots of children and teens withdraw from reality much more than they live in it. They might daydream at school and at home, get lost in books or video games, or prefer fantasizing to interacting with others. A lot of this is perfectly normal. But, if your kid lives too much outside of reality it can be a problem.
Popularity and social skills come from being grounded in the real world: playing sports, doing activities, interacting with friends, learning new things, etc. If your child isn’t doing any of this then he or she is likely not going to be popular.
Health And Fitness
While looks aren’t everything, they do matter, even at a young age. I’m not advocating for shaming or creating a negative body image. But, there’s rarely a reason for a teen to be overweight and out of shape except for overeating and not exercising. Aside from how someone looks, a person who is at a healthy weight and in at least normal shape has more energy and the ability to do so much more.
If your child gets no activity and eats a lot of unhealthy foods, then it’s probably time to get some help. Talk to a doctor or nutritionist and get your kid active. And, if you don’t eat right and work out, then you need to get on it too. Your kids learn from you!
So, if your child isn’t as popular as you like these might be a few of the reasons. We have advice and tips to help your child be more popular and develop social skills. In addition, check out our book on teen popularity. It has many useful tips to help any teen become more popular.